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Carolyn O'Connor's avatar

When I first stepped into ministry, I believed this was the lane I was meant to run in. Mentors, professors, even denominational leaders affirmed it—telling me I was a natural fit for a second-chair role, more so than church planting or senior leadership. They saw my strengths clearly... or so I thought.

But the reality has looked very different.

Time and again, I’ve found myself placed in assistant or support roles—not because I lacked capacity, but because those roles were “stepping stones” to something greater. Or so they said. The promise was always, “We see leadership in you—this is just the beginning.” But years later, that “beginning” has never progressed.

The result? A resume that doesn’t carry the titles some expect. A portfolio full of real work, real leadership, and real fruit—hidden behind the wrong job descriptions. I’ve started to wonder what’s actually being said when the encouragement to "wait" never turns into opportunity. What are the unspoken barriers?

So here's the hard questions I’m wrestling with:

What do you do when the paper trail doesn’t lead to the second chair?

How do you prove you’re already operating at that level—without the title to match?

And is it possible that the gatekeepers don’t recognize the second chair when it doesn’t look like them?

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