The Chuck-It List

I turned 50, so here's my inverted "Bucket List" of things I'm NOT going to do before I kick the bucket.

What’s a Chuck-It List? Well, I just turned 50 years old. A lot of people take aging like me as an opportunity to reflect on their mortality. The newly minted elder makes a frank appraisal of what they have accomplished so far. They create a bucket list of things they want to do before they, ya know, kick the bucket.

I don’t want to do that. For a 50 year old I’ve been privileged to already do a lot in life. In fact, maybe I’ve done too much.

So instead of a Bucket List, I’ve come up with a Chuck-It List of things I won’t do before I kick the bucket, things I’m going to “chuck” (a.k.a.: toss out) of my life and have no expectation to ever do.

Part of aging is realizing there are some things you’re just not gonna have time or ability to do before you die. A few dreams die. Likewise, some of my Chuck-It List includes dying dreams. I’m grieving a few of them. I’m just a realist on others.

Many of the rest of these I just don’t want to do anymore. With age, experience, wisdom, and perhaps even some laziness mixed with no small measure of weariness, I’ve determined they aren’t worth my time. Some I have already “tried on” and stopped doing a bit in my 40s. Others I am just now deciding not to do anymore. I’m done. So chuck it.

Some of these are funny. Some are infuriating. All of them are dead to me until I’m dead. So here are the things I’m NOT going to do before I die:

David Drury’s Chuck-It List:

1. Youth camps. Yeah, I’m way too old for that now, have been for a while. Nope.

2. Plumbing. I am fine to do a little handy man repair—but my days of using pipe cutters, joint compound, and wax seal rings are over. I’d rather chuck it and call a dude.

3. Mountaineering. I used to climb high mountains with my Dad (even in the winter). I’ve realized that’s more his thing than my thing. Chucked!

4. Owning and storing a trailer. I will no longer attach trailers to my vehicle for kayaks, canoes, bikes, boats, or anything at all. I don’t store, maintain, own, or use trailers anymore.

   

5. Sports that require leaving the ground. When I was a young man Charles Barkley was known as the “round mound of rebound.” Nowadays I’m more like the “round mound of staying on the ground.” Due to many basketball injuries when I was younger my orthopedic surgeon says, “Both of your feet shouldn’t ever leave the ground from now on.” I’m grounded.

6. Owning more camping equipment than can fit in 10 storage bins. I know, you think this is a lot of camping stuff, but the real ones out there know this takes discipline. I got it down to 10 last week. Chucked the rest or gave it away.

7. “All-you-can-eat” restaurants. Those of us who are grounded can’t afford the calories.

8. Cheap seats. I’m no longer buying seats to a sporting event where I’m closer to the last row than the front row. The middle costs the same as 2-3 seats in the nosebleeds, but is 4-5 times worth it.

9. Buying a layover ticket when a non-stop is available for less than 50% more.

10. Talking to door to door sales people. I used to humor these folks for a moment. now I don’t waste my time or theirs. No thanks, bye!

11. Doing an “out west trip” to the mountains with my kids. I always wanted to do that. We did so many of those with my family growing up I can’t count them. But for some reason it just never worked out to do that with my family. We did many other cool things, but now that my kids are grown that dream window has closed.

12. Bicycles. I’ve realized I don’t like cycling, and it’s incredibly dangerous. Everyone I know that is a serious cyclist went to the hospital at one point because of it. I prefer hiking where only the occasional bear may kill you (what a way to go!)

13. Buying new board games. I love them but I already have enough great ones and can check others out of the library now.

14. Conferences. It’s not that I won’t go to them, I just don’t actually register for and attend conferences anymore. I just go and hang out in the hallway and meet people for meals or coffee. At some point in my 40s I realized that was 90% of the benefit of going, so now that’s the only reason I go.

    

15. Small engines. I have always had troubles with maintaining, storing, and starting up snow-blowers, week-whackers, power washers, leaf blowers, and the like. I’ve sold or given away all of those many small engine machines and now I am the super-lame non-manly guy on the block who has all electric versions of these things. They have an on-off switch and they always work and I don’t have 4 acres to manage, so it works fine for me.

16. Speaking of that, I don’t do weed whacking at all anymore. My wife and I have set up the landscaping of our house to handle all grass cutting with the mower alone… no weed whacking ever required. I will also never call it “weed whipping” like some weirdos do… but I’ve never done that. I’m an American.

17. Owning a Jeep. Speaking of small engines again, I used to have a Suzuki Samurai in college before I was married and I called it the PseudoJeep. I’ve always loved Jeep Wranglers and even borrowed a few from time to time to go off-roading. It’s my dream car, if I have one (I’m not a car dude). But they are super-impractical and really don’t serve much purpose other than looking cool unless you off-road every week. So I’m letting this one go.

18. U.S. Politics. I really enjoy talking about U.S. Government and the founding of the U.S. and even some of our history (mostly the revolutionary period). However, I really don’t enjoy talking current U.S. Politics. I try to avoid these discussions and turn the news off or mute it when they start talking about U.S. Politics. However, if you ever want to hear my ideas for governmental reform that would more clearly mirror the founder’s intention in the constitution—let’s chat! But politics? Chuck it!

19. Asking for permission. I always heard that youth pastors had this motto: “Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.” I was a second-chair leader for a quarter century so I didn’t use that motto, trying to be in alignment with the top dog. Now that I’m old and not trying to please anyone much I’m gonna try it out.

20. Downloading your app. I will download an app occasionally to do something I want to do. But I don’t download them to do the thing you want me to do. I have enough apps in my life—I’m chucking the ones I don’t really want.

    

21. Woodworking. I gave this up in my 40s but just confirming it’s over now. I gave away all my woodworking tools and shop machines to younger ambitious Old Yankee Workshop hopefuls.

22. Living in a log cabin in the mountains. The more I learned about log cabins and the more I realized I need to be around people for my work I came to believe this was never gonna happen and I’m ok with it. Chucked!

23. Thru-hiking. I have to admit that I really like day hiking and camping much more than real back-packing. I enjoy being outdoors more than I enjoy the “how many miles did I complete on this many hundred miles trek” thing.

24. Finishing a book that is clearly not written that well. I chuck those books by chapter three all the time now. Life is too short and there are too many good books to read bad books.

25. Getting a PhD. This was a bucket list thing I tried for a season but then quit. It’s confirmed now, I don’t want to do it. But I might write about what I researched someday. Or not. At age 70 maybe even that might show up on my Final Chuck It List.

26. Storing books. If I’m almost certainly not going to read or consult a book again why am I keeping it? I have a home office now and shelf space is quite limited. If I keep all my books I’ll have to ask one of my grown children to move out. Oh, wait, maybe that’s an advantage. Maybe I’ll keep this one. Stay tuned!

So, what might make it on your Chuck-It List? Leave a comment to let me know.